Family gatherings are a wonderful time to come together, create memories, and celebrate traditions. However, for families impacted by autism, these events can bring unique challenges. With thoughtful planning and a bit of patience, you can ensure your gatherings are more inclusive, welcoming, and enjoyable for everyone.
As an organization that supports under-served families impacted by autism, we want to share some practical tips for creating a supportive environment at your next family event.
1. Respect Food Preferences
For individuals with autism, food can be a sensitive area. Sensory sensitivities, smells, texture aversions, or even strict routines around eating are common. If you’re hosting, be mindful of providing a variety of food options. Resist the urge to pressure anyone to try something new or eat beyond their comfort zone. Offering familiar or plain options or asking if there are any preferred dishes can go a long way in helping a guest with autism feel more at ease.
Remember, mealtimes should be about enjoyment and connection, not conformity. Respect individual choices and avoid drawing attention to them.
2. Create a Quiet Space
Family gatherings can be noisy and overstimulating, especially for individuals with autism who may be sensitive to sensory overload. Designate a quiet room or area where a guest can retreat if they feel overwhelmed. Equip this space with calming items, such as soft pillows, dim lighting, or noise-canceling headphones.
Make sure the family knows this space is available and that it’s okay to use it whenever needed. Allowing guests to take breaks without judgment helps them feel secure and respected.
3. Encourage Participation, But Allow Declines
Family games and activities are great opportunities for connection, but not everyone may feel comfortable joining in. Invite the child or individual with autism to participate, but let them decide if and when they want to engage. Respect their choice to observe instead of joining in—it’s still their way of being a part of the experience.
If they do want to play, consider adapting the activity to suit their comfort level. Simple, structured games may feel less overwhelming than fast-paced or loud ones.
4. Respect Parents’ Expertise
The parents of a child with autism know their child best. They’ve spent years learning what works, what triggers meltdowns, and how to respond to their child’s unique needs. Trust their judgment and respect their methods, even if they differ from your own parenting approach.
Avoid offering unsolicited advice or making assumptions about their parenting. Instead, show empathy and offer support. Statements like, “You’re doing an amazing job,” or “Let me know how I can help,” go a long way in fostering a positive and inclusive environment.
5. Be Patient and Kind
Above all, extend patience and understanding. Sometimes, despite the best planning, things may not go as expected. A meltdown, a sudden departure, or a guest needing extra time or space is not a reflection of the child or their family.
Your willingness to accept these moments with grace will make all the difference. Showing kindness and patience communicates to families with a loved one with autism that they are valued members of your gathering.
A Final Thought
Inclusivity is not about perfection—it’s about effort and intention. By taking small, thoughtful steps, you can create a family gathering where everyone feels welcome and supported. For families impacted by autism, this sense of acceptance can mean the world.
At the Freddie Ford Family Foundation, we are committed to fostering awareness and acceptance of autism. Together, we can create spaces where all families feel included, respected, and celebrated. We hope this helps make your holiday gathering extra special for everyone.
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